The World As We Know It

If it wasn’t for a certain frosty headed, Rivers Cuomo glasses wearing, progressive hipster pastor from Michigan, Portland may not have ever been a stop in the journey that is my Personal Legend.

There are certain people or pieces of pop culture that act a catalyst and move us to that next thing in our life, that thing that is meant to be. There are people that influence us and inspire whether we are interacting with these people in our day-to-day life, or if they are touching us through a book, lecture, film, dance or television show.

In the “Christian” realm, pastors often site Tolkien and Lewis as catalysts whom God has “worked through” (pardon the use of Christianese) to impact the lives of people. As much respect as I have for the authors who influenced me through Lord of the Rings and Mere Christianity, I think we need to be talking about other channels of modern pop culture that God is working through. I believe this as evident through my own journey of faith that is not as directly influenced though Lewis, Tolkien or the “church fathers”.

The pastor that I referred to in my opening thought is Pastor Rob Bell who started Mars Hill Bible Church in Grandville, MI. I was first introduced to Bell about a decade ago through his NOOMA videos that were occasionally shown at the college group I was attending, Axis, in Simi Valley, CA. NOOMA videos are modern day parables creatively communicated through a topical video. The topic of “Noise” used in the video below launched me into a deep sea of introspection about the ways God is currently reaching a society easily distracted by the culture and technology that we were born into and are in a way worshipping.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m8V38um2lhw

As one who struggles to make decisions and who is easily distracted by noise, God influenced my thought through Bell’s work titled, Velvet Elvis, which ultimately acted as a catalyst in helping me to decide to move to Portland. Through Velvet Elvis, I was encouraged to explore the “gray” area that lies in the genius of the God of the universe. So many times evangelicals put God in a black and white box and by doing so, put limits on an omniscient, omnipresent, transcendent being. Because who wants to admit that their three-pound finite mind doesn’t have all the answers, right?

I am one who believes God continues to reach out to us through “noise”, much of which comes out of pop culture, but is not limited to just that. My faith is justified through creation, scripture, people and pop culture. To take it a step further and speak in specifics, my faith and values have been defined by God working through The Alchemist, LOST, and several songs penned by Aaron Marsh and Stephen Christian.  I will go as far as saying that God has used these modern day parables to strengthen my faith beyond any of the parables written in Scripture. Blasphemy? Maybe if you put limits on the Creator.

When it comes down to it, I would not be who I am in Christ without the parable of Jack Shepherd or without the concept of “dismantle,repair” or without that heartbreaking relationship. God will always find a way to reach us through any obstacle or through any amount of noise. 

Three Years Later

"This thing inside of me was so strong that I had to act on it. Can you relate to the feeling? That sense that there is something deep in the fiber of your being that you have to do, and if you don't do it, you will be violating something...or somebody? Better try and fail, because at least you are being true to yourself. And the worst thing would be to live life wondering, What if?"- Rob Bell, Velvet Elvis.


Three years ago this was my motto and I seemed to have forgotten these words. This blog is no longer dead and neither is honor, love, desire or Truth...

So Long Sweet Summer

The autumn leaves are near! It came to me this week as such a surprise when I realized as to how quickly the summer has passed. I don’t think I’ve had the opportunity to properly reflect on this past summer. Summer meaning up until this very day, the autumnal equinox is still a couple days away. 

Conversations have changed my perspective on life. I have had some of the most conversations in my life over the course of the last four months. I wish I could go into detail now, but I will elaborate in a book that I will write someday. The lesson learned has been that life is gray. I have treated it black and white most of my life and that is why I was slow to develop and come to my own conclusions. Having realized this, I've shifted gears and am now cruising alone in the direction of the road not traveled. 

The road not traveled involves more exploring and more questions to be asked. Some of the things that I choose to do may be seen as out of character for me by those who may know me on the surface level.

There are many exciting things coming my way this Autumn. The places that I have come to fear the most lie ahead and I'm more than ready to take those on.

When the music stops

When I get into my car and drive and stop these various destinations I learn so much about myself as I go through trail and error. This road trip to California has been an awesome time of self reflection. I have had some great conversations with old friends that helped me that I share a loving, authentic, faith with those I really love. We can't put God in a box and then paint in black and white. Life is not black and white. I used to think it was, but it's one of those things that I should have questioned ages ago because it turn out the Bible never says that life or God is "black & white". The God of wonders is to big for any type of box. 

I got to experience the cities of Los Angeles and San Francisco where I was able have many fun conversations with strangers, who were no longer strangers after we had ended our conversations. I had a fun conversation with an aspiring actor who recently played a zombie in a film. I had a great talk about coffee with a girl that I met at the department store, Villains, on Haight St. in San Francisco. Turns out she was a Portlander and she wrote me a list of all the coffee shops in San Francisco that would be up to par with the coffee that we have been spoiled with in Portland. I only trust fellow snobs when it comes to coffee and beer and I could tell that she was legit. So if you are in SF at some p

oint and you appreciate coffee go to Four Barrels and/or Ritual for a divine experience.

It was nice to get reacquainted with LA and SF. I love the diversity. I love the handful of cool people. However, I don't like getting told to eff off for obeying the traffic laws. Oregon has turned me into quite a pansy behind the wheel. I love the nightlife that I experience and the good music with a sick beat that you can dance to. I wandered the streets of SF at night and didn't get shanked. I think I could live in either of these places if I choose to go back to school in the near future. SF is such an amazing city but UCLA happens to be in Los Angeles. Whatevs. I have time.

Family time was great. My little hometown is always full of great memories and it's nice to have all family in one central location. I got to have a great LA/Dodgers adventure with my brother and cousins. I got to have to have some quality time with the parents and others at family BBQs/dinners.

Through all of these conversations I've only begun to see how much I have changed and where my passions lie. These people and skylines I love continue to refine me. I am blessed.

I saw a guy in the middle of an intersection yesterday down with firefighters around him giving him chest compressions as they were trying to keep his heart beating before the EMTs arrived. I had a terrible feeling as I prayed for him. It turns out that the guy was a 27 year old man from Ventura and he died because he choose to race a Corvette and lost control when the light changed and went under an SUV and then his life was over.

Life is so precious and I realize that I do take it for granted quite too often. I race against Corvettes probably more than I should (in the figurative sense). Really, I'm quite foolish at times. I guess many of us are foolish at times when we try and make the most of this one precious life. We just never know when this life end. We are like mixtapes; intricate, yet fragile. 

I need to end on a high note...I've done a bit of transforming this summer. The church encouraged transformation and I obliged. I don't know if they'll like it but here we go anyway. I'm a TRANSFORMER. I'm ready to take on Portland. I'm excited to come home to Portland and start YEAR TWO. I'm excited for this action packed summer with includes the Dirty South Adventure. I'm excited to move in a new apartment. I'm excited for Res Lifing it. I'm excited for Imago Dei. I'm excited for a Revolution. I'm excited for the unknown. 

I can hear the sound of sirens and heartache...

I woke up this morning and my first thoughts were:

I am reflecting on how tragedy changes our perspective on life, for better or worse, we let our emotions get the best of us sometimes. I'm thinking about standing in the club with a red bull & vodka in hand and seeing the people around me try and drown out their loneliness by indulging in whatever the can get their hands on. Recently I've seen riots on TV caused by a world championship and others caused by fear of tyranny. Some people are complete idiots, others are desperate. I'm thinking about the awesome church in Portland that found me. I like to question and learn and grown in faith. It's my freedom and my responsibility to question. People read my words and ask my friend if I'm OK. I smile and shake my head remembering judging those who "struggled" :). I look forward to the day when folks ask me how I'm feeling and perhaps we could have a good conversation over coffee or a beer. I've had some great conversation this summer so far and it's only 20 days into June. I look forward to many more great conversations. There were times this week when I have felt invincible, but that was foolishness. 

All I'm focused on currently is:

Protesters have taken the streets of Los Angeles in support of the protesters dying in Iran. A man was just declared, "the REVOLUTION is here!"

Keep Breathing, Phillip

The person that has been on my mind for the past six days is Phillip Leichliter, who is my ex-girl friend's and best friend's current boyfriend. Phillip was in a terrible car accident last week Saturday/Sunday around 12:30am-ish. His car hit a big truck and caught on fire. He had second degree burns on his arms and elsewhere and broke his nose and also bones around his eyes. His face was swollen and he has been nearly unconscious for a week. He was taken off the paralytic that the was one just yesterday. He is responsive to touch, which is amazing. I have been communicating with Lindsay back and forth via Facebook and she didn't think he was going to make it through the night a few days ago because oxygen was not getting to his brain. All that changed and he is breathing on his own now, but is still in a daze. The neurologist (the McDreamy of UC Davis) has yet to determine if there is any serious head trauma or brain damage. Please pray or send good thoughts or anything for this guy and for Lindsay. He is opening his eyes now, but is still not able to speak. He did squeeze Lin's hand when he opened his eyes and saw her. We need some kind of a miracle now to get Phillip though this. I believe in a God and I believe that something radical can happen to get Phillip and Lindsay through this mess. I have seen too many episodes of Grey's Anatomy so it is natural for me to get so introspective about the next phases in this process. 

I was at the gym tonight and found myself praying between the cardio machine and between reps. Please pray for Phillip however you choose to in whatever faith you have. I know a lot of people pray for God's will to be done, but I'm selfishly praying for a full recovery for him and for strenght for Lin. This could be weeks, months or years of recovery , I don't know, all I can hope for is the best. 

Phillip and I are not what you would call, "friends", but he's still important to me and I want him to get through this without any major  damage. He's a good guy and has the heart of a lion. I hope for the best. 

This was a brief summary of what happened, but basically I just wanted to ask to please think of him and Lindsay. My friends in Nor Cal have been sent on a roller coaster of a ride this week, but I am faithful in the outcome. I don't get why things like this happen, but we just need to press on with every bot of strength we have sometimes to make it through turbulent times.

I will keep you posted on this. Thank you for all who read this for your support for my friends. 

The Happenings

There are just periods of times in life when happenings occur, these "happenings" are sometimes good and sometimes traumatic. The evangelicals will say that these happenings occur because God willed them to. Some of these happenings seem too effed up beyond belief for God to will them to happen. I think I believe that God allows things to happen because after all he is supposed to be this omnipresent being who watches over us.

It was Wednesday after the lightening storm when my best friend and I chatted until the late hours. She rested her head on my arm as we drifted off to sleep. All was well. My friends far away exchanged texts with me. All was well.

There brewing in the center of that storm were things that if I had the ability to fly, see the future and superhuman strength I would have made trips to DC, Orlando and back to Auburn over the next few days. 

Alas, I am human and I still can't wrap my head around why God allows things to happen. Don't worry I am still a man of signs over coincidence . This summer just got more complex, but I have definitely now been called to do the most difficult thing that I have ever been asked to do.

Is it so sad that it took me seeing George O'Malley getting creamed by a bus to help me appreciate life so much more? Perhaps it's because we had so much in common. Perhaps it's because I would like to think I would jump in front of a bus just to save one life.

God bless this summer.