What if?

Last summer I took the most significant road trip of my life. It was a trip into the wilderness in which I was trying to get away from myself to be alone. During this journey I learned who God was all over again. I gained confidence by being bold in my time in Oregon. The greatest lesson that I learned on that trip was that I never wanted to live my life again asking the question “What if?”

At the end of last summer I read a book called Velvet Elvis by Rob Bell that changed me in so many ways. It gave me a new perspective and rejuvinated me. In his book, specifically Movement Four: Tassels, I underlined the following:

“This thing inside of me was so strong that I had to act on it. Can you relate to this feeling? That sense that there is someone deep in the fiber of your being that you have to do, and if you don’t do it, you will be violating something…or somebody?

Better to try and fail, because at least you are being true to yourself.

And the worst thing would be to live wondering. What if?”

Next to my underlined sentences I scribbled “Remember Oregon”.

Almost one year later, after some major identity reconstruction, God is still using these words to speak to me, even more so grasping a hold of me…

My fantasy capstone: Disney's Influence on Relationships

I’m going to start this blog off with a statement. My statement is: I believe that Disney has given false expectations about relationships to children through their fantasy movies in which the central theme is that we all will live “happily ever after.”

I am not anti-fantasy. In fact, I encourage young people to hold on to fantasy as long as they can. I remember believing that if I could drive 88 miles per hour I could travel through time and I had one time hoped to fight a hand full of villains while eating an apple and stealing a loaf of bread at the same time like Aladdin.

What does bother me is when college-aged people this that they can have a Disney relationship without having to ever work on the relationship itself. The current Millennial Generation is very much dependent on their parents and many have never really experienced the “real world” even after receiving their college degrees. I am writing this because I have been very observant of the relationships that surround me on a daily basis and became curious. Going into a serious relationship with the “happily ever after” mentality is dangerous. Having delusions of grandeur can be destructive to any relationship. Relationships take work, conversation about serious issues, and sacrifice.

Sacrifice is such a difficult word to define because I feel that every individual has their own needs, goals and desires that they must fulfill before getting married. For example, one of my best friends left the country to fulfill her dream of independently living abroad before committing to serious relationship. Even though we all knew that this guy was perfect for her she knew that the most important thing for her at that time was to follow her heart’s desire and live in a foreign country. It was almost as if her moving away strengthened their relationship and I can honestly say that their relationship is one of trust and one of the best examples of a relationship that I have seen in my life.

It’s so important to make sure you are fulfilling your DREAMS, your GOALS, and your DESIRES in life. My fear for most people who give up on moving abroad, going to grad school, etc. is that they will find their identity in another person and ultimately will experience despair at the end of their life.

Falling in love almost always outweighs friendship in these Disney movies. In any relationship, it’s important to not cut your ties with friends because your significant other is jealous. It is WRITTEN: love is NOT jealous. If your lover is jealous then there is a real issue there that needs to be addressed. Honesty and trust make the relationship. Having an exclusive relationship is by no means healthy. We all need friends to encourage and advise us throughout our dating and marriage relationships. The importance of having a supportive network in relationships is never addressed in Disney movies. How do I know? Because the witnesses/audience at these fantasy weddings…are animals.

Another great example of a healthy relationship that I can think of is a couple who I went to college with who do their best to include their friends in everything that they do. Seriously, they have an entourage with them wherever they go. This is a couple who knows how to live life to the fullest and knows what is most important to them.

Looking back now I really wish I would have researched this topic for my Communication Capstone…I know I can be a bit of an over-analyzer but the influence that the Disney fantasy films had on children and the lasting impression they have on those children when they become “adults” are astonishing. Someone needs to research this. It wasn’t until 2007 that Disney redeemed themselves with the release of in my mind, their best work to date…

Anyone who knows me knows my fascination with the movie Enchanted, a Disney film that came out toward the end of last year. I paid Disney to see this movie in the theater…twice. Finally a Disney movie that dealt with real issues and poked fun of themselves and their “happily ever after relationships”. Enchanted addressed that we can be in a relationship and find other people attractive. It stressed we should date and get to know each other and threw the idea of “love at first sight” out the window. It showed that there is hope after divorce. This film had a perfect balance of fantasy and reality and is a film I think every child and adult needs to see. Like I said, I am an advocate for fantasy but we in fact do live in a fallen world in which we have to work and make wise decisions. I’m just going to stop now because this opinion of mine can be argued either way. I don’t need to prove myself. This is just a sloppy unfiltered version of my thoughts on this topic. Please add Enchanted to your list of movies to see and take from it what you will.

If only life were as easy as being a character in a movie in which we had no choice but to follow the writers will, but this is a whole new topic of conversation…