Chapter 1- Transitions

I had not been in Portland for more than a few days when I went to my first show at Berbati's. It was Rocky Votolato and Owen. I was there alone and still had a blast. I met my first not Reed affiliated person that night. I gave her some change so that she could get the bus home and she told me where I could find her so that she could pay me back in the form of a latte at the coffee shop she worked at. 

I walked back to my car with my Rocky Votolato EP in hand and was very observant of my surroundings. 3rd Ave. at night looked like a pretty shady place especially that hole across the street called Silverado. I attempted to make it back to my apartment at Reed without getting lost. I knew that I was in SW and needed to be in SE and would have to cross a bridge to make it home. I drove around aimlessly until I found a bridge called Ross Island and eventually saw a sign for Reed College and found my apartment. I was a Lost Boy from the start, but I found my way. I will never forget those first few days in PDX, on my own and learning and finding my way. It turns out that being lost and found found would be the story of my semester. Oh hell, the story of my life...

The day after my first show I left on a retreat with the Res Life staff I hardly knew, and that was the beginning of one of my life's great adventures. The last sixth months have been a great challenge, personally, professionally and spiritually and those were only the first sixth months. There is so much that lies ahead! The first semester went by in a heartbeat and here I am back in California, reflecting...

Transitions. They come in varieties. We fall to them. We overcome them. We learn from them. Transitions can make us better people, therefore, I am thankful for them. It was a semester of questioning and growth. I love putting myself outside of my comfort zone and I am glad I was able to do so in Portland. Portland is my home and I hope to continue to call it home for some time. I have never so much felt as if I was consistently in my element as I have been in PDX. 

Since I have been home I have been asked several times if Portland/Reed is everything that I thought that it would be. My answer is that my expectations were high but Portland and Reed have far exceeded my expectations. I boast about the city, the  skyline, the Portlanders, my new friends, my staff and the Reedies. 

There was so much that happened in my first 6 months. There is so much that has happened and I don't want to include it in this blog. All I will say is that, I love Portland, I love the Lost Boys, I love Reed and I am excited to see where the next 6 months take me. I have a feeling, a funny feeling in the pit of my stomach, but I don't want to get ahead of myself...

"The night is always darkest before the dawn"

Miracle on 39th St.

Well, ARCTIC BLAST 2008, today I stared directly into your stone cold eyes and roundhouse-kicked you in the face! I give you some credit, you didn't make it easy. I woke up in the AM to watch the channel 8 news and was saddened to find out that Alaska/Horizon had "suspended" all of their flights. I decided to still attempt to catch the bus to the airport to wait it out. I walked a mile in the snow dragging my suit case as I saw bus after bus stuck in the snow. I attempted to call a cab service and only received busy signals. In frustration I lifted my suitcase over my head and marched up hill to the bus stop on 39th St, only to sit there for an hour. After I got tired of not feeling my finger tips or legs and listening to the girl talk about how much she wanted Kool-Aid and how Kook-Aid would make everything better. I thought to myself, "NO! KOOL-AID is NOT going to make EVERYTHING BETTER! A FREAKING PITCHER 0F JUICE WHO WEARS TIGHTS! SERIOUSLY?! HOW IS THAT GOING TO MAKE THIS ARCTIC BLAST 2008 SHOW MERCY? PSSH!".

After I gather myself I gathered my belongings and slid downhill back toward Reed and made my way into the Spanish House to defrost. I received a call from Skye who was with Devin at PDX and I was advised to go to the airport no matter what or I would be stuck in Portland for Christmas. Devin told me that he had hitchhiked to the airport twice that morning. I also learned that there were lots of Reedies at the airport. I figured that if I did miss my flight I would be in good company. I gathered by belonging and once again marched up the hill in the snow toward 39th St. I went back to this bus stop but this time I crafted and held up a sign that read, "Portland Airport or Hollywood transit?" I held the sign up and within 10 minutes, a car stopped and a woman named Tina who was on her way to Providence Milwaukie offered me a ride. It wan nearly 1pm and it didn't look like I was going to make my 2:30 flight to Seattle in route to Burbank. I thanked Tina for the ride, as dropped me off to the shuttle at the hospital which takes people directly to the MAX station. I got on the shuttle which took me to the MAX station. The red line (which goes directly to PDX) was down because the rails were iced over! I was now in the company of others in route to PDX. I chatted away with people and learned their stories and where they were traveling to. We had to take the blue line toward Gresham and we greeted by a bus. There were nearly a 100 of us that crowded the bus, which took us directly to the airport!

I looked up at the arrivals and departures screen and saw that my Seattle flight was delayed until 4:30. It was currently 3:45. I was golden but was worried because my flight from Seattle to Burbank was supposed to leave at 4:30. I got through security as fast as I could and ran down the hall to gate A3. It was about 4:10. The Seattle flight was boarding and then I heard a last call for Burbank. I went over to the counter to speak with the Burbank man who I gave puppy dog eyes to, and asked him if there was any way that I would get on the Burbank flight rather than going to Seattle where I would likely be stuck for a couple of days. He said the flight was sold out but there were a few people that never showed up for the flight (shows how much hitchhiking paid off). He got me on the flight. I ran through the gate and starting at me was a giant Beaver. It was The Oregon St. University Horizon plane. I got on the plane. We de-iced. Were towed through the snow toward the runway. The sun started to come out for the first time in days. As the sun blinded ARCTIC BLAST 2008 we escaped! I was on this plane with people who slept in the airport for 3 days just to make this flight. We landed safely in Burbank and people cheered! I exited the plane and left the terminal. When I looked up I saw none other than David Hasselhoff, at that point I knew I was home...

On a side note, please pray or send get well wishes to all those injured in Alaska Airlines flight 528 that was leaving Seattle in route to Burbank.

http://www.cnn.com/2008/TRAVEL/12/24/holiday.travel/index.html

ARCTIC BLAST 2008!!!

I wonder how long it takes television news crews to come up with such clever names as, ARCTIC BLAST 2008? Anyway, I am sitting in a Safeway having a peppermint coffee at one of those faux Starbucks. I walked from Reed, braved the snow and freezing rain. Did you know that Accuweather.com depicts freezing rain as ICE CUBES falling from a cloud!?

Today I got to reflect on the semester (Higher Ed Admin always think in semesters). I also realized that I have become somewhat of one of those crazy Northwestern people. I love Portland. It's my home. It was fun walking with other people in the snow to find food. Our interactions were mere smiles and nods, but it was still refreshing that these people, specifically SE Portlanders, are my neighbors.

I was disappointed to find that both the Funky Door and Sbux were closed. Hence, why I had to walk a little further and ended up at the faux Sbux at Safeway. My feet are cold, as I still refuse to purchase some goofy Northwestern footwear. I am content with my clubbing and emo shoes.

On the walk over I saw cars buried in the snow, folks getting there cars stuck in snow, a man skiing on Holgate, Tall Pawl riding up 39th wearing a cape, and children sledding down their streets. It was also the first time I experienced freezing rain. The cord to my iPod was coated in ice and ice stuck to my face.

I am looking out the window as the snow and freezing rain falls and falls and falls. It's so beautiful. I just pray that I can get home tomorrow. The Arctic Blast is an experience that I have long awaited but it's keeping people I care about from getting home. I shake my fist at you ARCTIC BLAST 2008! Your beauty is deceiving! Blast you...ARCTIC BLAST! I was contemplating walking all the way to Hawthorne , but that may been foolish. I have been known to do crazy things before.

A part of me wants to finish my Christmas shopping and a part of me wants to be home and build a fire. Crap, I'm looking out the window again and can't seem to tell the sidewalk from the street. Well, I think I have had enough of Safeway...

When He is silent He is listening, and not abandoning.

If you know me then you know that I have desired a tattoo of a sparrow for a couple years now. The idea was inspired by a poem titled, "Silence" by Bradley Hataway. I always wanted something that represented my faith and love for God and always thought that crosses were cliche. I also did consider that sparrows somehow by default came to represent the emo culture. I did also take into account that the sparrow was the logo for the band The Lyndsay Diaries, a band that was very representative of my feelings on relationships and life in college. It's also the logo for Stumptown coffee in Portland. Then you have that bastard of a pirate, Jack Sparrow. BUT, my sparrow will always mark a symbol of faith and love and taking comfort in God even when life blows. Nova and I went to the House of Tattoo in Tacoma, WA and I was inked by a fun, talented, quirky woman named Katie. I now will carry this symbol of faith with me for the rest of my life to serve as a reminder that God is always faithful even in his silence...


Silence by Bradley Hathaway

What’s happening here?
I was once so alive and now I’m so full of dread and almost dead
Show me your wounded head that is lead to communion with the father
But where did he go?
His presence seems farther and farther away each day
but I’m trying so hard to steer his way
Yet still lonely and confused on this cold hard ground I lay

Speak to me wise mouth and say “it’s all good kid, it’s nothing that you did, and though it feels like I’m not here with you right now just be still and silent and listen for that sound..
Shhh..
Did you hear it?
Listen again.
Did you hear it?
That silent voice that just spoke nothing, that is me, I’m listening to your plea with open ears Counting all your tears flowing from your irritated eyes
Searching the skies looking for that hope that beyond there lies.

Oh you young worrisome sparrow, find rest
Lay your battered head upon my omnipresent breast and make it your nest
No strong cold wind could ever blow and carry you from this your home
Look around, see the life shooting up from the ground
Spring colors springing fourth and celebration of your trusting

It’s a constant process this is
Growing you into the man you are to become
But when you sense the setting of the sun know it is only rising and has just begun
Now go fourth, sing songs of faith, and lift up others in the midst of this race
And if you can’t keep the pace or lose sight of my face
Know that I’m always near so you need not fear
But don’t worry about all that right now
Just sit here and enjoy the peace I offer in my silence
When I am silent I am listening, and not abandoning.