So Long Sweet Summer

The autumn leaves are near! It came to me this week as such a surprise when I realized as to how quickly the summer has passed. I don’t think I’ve had the opportunity to properly reflect on this past summer. Summer meaning up until this very day, the autumnal equinox is still a couple days away. 

Conversations have changed my perspective on life. I have had some of the most conversations in my life over the course of the last four months. I wish I could go into detail now, but I will elaborate in a book that I will write someday. The lesson learned has been that life is gray. I have treated it black and white most of my life and that is why I was slow to develop and come to my own conclusions. Having realized this, I've shifted gears and am now cruising alone in the direction of the road not traveled. 

The road not traveled involves more exploring and more questions to be asked. Some of the things that I choose to do may be seen as out of character for me by those who may know me on the surface level.

There are many exciting things coming my way this Autumn. The places that I have come to fear the most lie ahead and I'm more than ready to take those on.

When the music stops

When I get into my car and drive and stop these various destinations I learn so much about myself as I go through trail and error. This road trip to California has been an awesome time of self reflection. I have had some great conversations with old friends that helped me that I share a loving, authentic, faith with those I really love. We can't put God in a box and then paint in black and white. Life is not black and white. I used to think it was, but it's one of those things that I should have questioned ages ago because it turn out the Bible never says that life or God is "black & white". The God of wonders is to big for any type of box. 

I got to experience the cities of Los Angeles and San Francisco where I was able have many fun conversations with strangers, who were no longer strangers after we had ended our conversations. I had a fun conversation with an aspiring actor who recently played a zombie in a film. I had a great talk about coffee with a girl that I met at the department store, Villains, on Haight St. in San Francisco. Turns out she was a Portlander and she wrote me a list of all the coffee shops in San Francisco that would be up to par with the coffee that we have been spoiled with in Portland. I only trust fellow snobs when it comes to coffee and beer and I could tell that she was legit. So if you are in SF at some p

oint and you appreciate coffee go to Four Barrels and/or Ritual for a divine experience.

It was nice to get reacquainted with LA and SF. I love the diversity. I love the handful of cool people. However, I don't like getting told to eff off for obeying the traffic laws. Oregon has turned me into quite a pansy behind the wheel. I love the nightlife that I experience and the good music with a sick beat that you can dance to. I wandered the streets of SF at night and didn't get shanked. I think I could live in either of these places if I choose to go back to school in the near future. SF is such an amazing city but UCLA happens to be in Los Angeles. Whatevs. I have time.

Family time was great. My little hometown is always full of great memories and it's nice to have all family in one central location. I got to have a great LA/Dodgers adventure with my brother and cousins. I got to have to have some quality time with the parents and others at family BBQs/dinners.

Through all of these conversations I've only begun to see how much I have changed and where my passions lie. These people and skylines I love continue to refine me. I am blessed.

I saw a guy in the middle of an intersection yesterday down with firefighters around him giving him chest compressions as they were trying to keep his heart beating before the EMTs arrived. I had a terrible feeling as I prayed for him. It turns out that the guy was a 27 year old man from Ventura and he died because he choose to race a Corvette and lost control when the light changed and went under an SUV and then his life was over.

Life is so precious and I realize that I do take it for granted quite too often. I race against Corvettes probably more than I should (in the figurative sense). Really, I'm quite foolish at times. I guess many of us are foolish at times when we try and make the most of this one precious life. We just never know when this life end. We are like mixtapes; intricate, yet fragile. 

I need to end on a high note...I've done a bit of transforming this summer. The church encouraged transformation and I obliged. I don't know if they'll like it but here we go anyway. I'm a TRANSFORMER. I'm ready to take on Portland. I'm excited to come home to Portland and start YEAR TWO. I'm excited for this action packed summer with includes the Dirty South Adventure. I'm excited to move in a new apartment. I'm excited for Res Lifing it. I'm excited for Imago Dei. I'm excited for a Revolution. I'm excited for the unknown. 

I can hear the sound of sirens and heartache...

I woke up this morning and my first thoughts were:

I am reflecting on how tragedy changes our perspective on life, for better or worse, we let our emotions get the best of us sometimes. I'm thinking about standing in the club with a red bull & vodka in hand and seeing the people around me try and drown out their loneliness by indulging in whatever the can get their hands on. Recently I've seen riots on TV caused by a world championship and others caused by fear of tyranny. Some people are complete idiots, others are desperate. I'm thinking about the awesome church in Portland that found me. I like to question and learn and grown in faith. It's my freedom and my responsibility to question. People read my words and ask my friend if I'm OK. I smile and shake my head remembering judging those who "struggled" :). I look forward to the day when folks ask me how I'm feeling and perhaps we could have a good conversation over coffee or a beer. I've had some great conversation this summer so far and it's only 20 days into June. I look forward to many more great conversations. There were times this week when I have felt invincible, but that was foolishness. 

All I'm focused on currently is:

Protesters have taken the streets of Los Angeles in support of the protesters dying in Iran. A man was just declared, "the REVOLUTION is here!"

Keep Breathing, Phillip

The person that has been on my mind for the past six days is Phillip Leichliter, who is my ex-girl friend's and best friend's current boyfriend. Phillip was in a terrible car accident last week Saturday/Sunday around 12:30am-ish. His car hit a big truck and caught on fire. He had second degree burns on his arms and elsewhere and broke his nose and also bones around his eyes. His face was swollen and he has been nearly unconscious for a week. He was taken off the paralytic that the was one just yesterday. He is responsive to touch, which is amazing. I have been communicating with Lindsay back and forth via Facebook and she didn't think he was going to make it through the night a few days ago because oxygen was not getting to his brain. All that changed and he is breathing on his own now, but is still in a daze. The neurologist (the McDreamy of UC Davis) has yet to determine if there is any serious head trauma or brain damage. Please pray or send good thoughts or anything for this guy and for Lindsay. He is opening his eyes now, but is still not able to speak. He did squeeze Lin's hand when he opened his eyes and saw her. We need some kind of a miracle now to get Phillip though this. I believe in a God and I believe that something radical can happen to get Phillip and Lindsay through this mess. I have seen too many episodes of Grey's Anatomy so it is natural for me to get so introspective about the next phases in this process. 

I was at the gym tonight and found myself praying between the cardio machine and between reps. Please pray for Phillip however you choose to in whatever faith you have. I know a lot of people pray for God's will to be done, but I'm selfishly praying for a full recovery for him and for strenght for Lin. This could be weeks, months or years of recovery , I don't know, all I can hope for is the best. 

Phillip and I are not what you would call, "friends", but he's still important to me and I want him to get through this without any major  damage. He's a good guy and has the heart of a lion. I hope for the best. 

This was a brief summary of what happened, but basically I just wanted to ask to please think of him and Lindsay. My friends in Nor Cal have been sent on a roller coaster of a ride this week, but I am faithful in the outcome. I don't get why things like this happen, but we just need to press on with every bot of strength we have sometimes to make it through turbulent times.

I will keep you posted on this. Thank you for all who read this for your support for my friends. 

The Happenings

There are just periods of times in life when happenings occur, these "happenings" are sometimes good and sometimes traumatic. The evangelicals will say that these happenings occur because God willed them to. Some of these happenings seem too effed up beyond belief for God to will them to happen. I think I believe that God allows things to happen because after all he is supposed to be this omnipresent being who watches over us.

It was Wednesday after the lightening storm when my best friend and I chatted until the late hours. She rested her head on my arm as we drifted off to sleep. All was well. My friends far away exchanged texts with me. All was well.

There brewing in the center of that storm were things that if I had the ability to fly, see the future and superhuman strength I would have made trips to DC, Orlando and back to Auburn over the next few days. 

Alas, I am human and I still can't wrap my head around why God allows things to happen. Don't worry I am still a man of signs over coincidence . This summer just got more complex, but I have definitely now been called to do the most difficult thing that I have ever been asked to do.

Is it so sad that it took me seeing George O'Malley getting creamed by a bus to help me appreciate life so much more? Perhaps it's because we had so much in common. Perhaps it's because I would like to think I would jump in front of a bus just to save one life.

God bless this summer.

Revolutions Part 1: The Battle for Imago Dei

The Image of God (Hebrew: צֶלֶם אֱלֹהִים‎; tzelem elohim, lit. "image of God", often appearing in Latin as Imago Dei) is a concept and theological doctrine that asserts that human beings are created in God's image and therefore have inherent value independent of their utility or function (definition taken from Wikipedia).

It was just about two years ago from this month that I took an epic road trip that would change my life. It was a solo road trip for me in which I was in search of authentic community. My final destination for this epic road trip would be Portland to visit a girl. It was around NW 23rd and Johnson where I met up with my friend Julie. She introduced me to her city and I almost immediately fell in love with the city of Portland. There were many reasons what I fell in love with this city that I have come to know as PDX or P-town or not too frequently as Stumptown. I felt almost invincible. I had the balls to say and do things that I would normally not have said or done. I found authentic community and to use a "Christianese" phrase, "I felt God for the first time in quite sometime". 

This sensation of God's presence came from a combination of friend, music, the open road, conversations with random people in bars, journaling, the beauty of Oregon, sparrows, the sound of the rain against my windshield, etc. I had left the noise of Los Angeles and I forgotten about the church that lost themselves and their followers in politics and had found God...everywhere. In which I mean to say, He never left. I had to realize that I am not called to place my faith in church elders. They are as human as I am with our three pound finite minds and our sinful ways that keep us falling short. There are humans that blindly follow church authority and there are those that choose to question it. I feel that all parties are guilty of stupidity at times, but I choose to side with the latter. I think that anyone that believes or agrees with every word that comes out of their pastors mouth is dumb. This train of thought, believe it or not, actually comes from my conservative evangelical upbringing. I question, I engage, I dive into the book that the Christians call the "Word", I pray, I have some coffee or beer, depending on the time of day and then I can either choose to agree with the preacher man (or preacher woman, if I were in a non discriminatory church setting). 

Call me a revolutionary, but I'd rather be strong in my faith and question and engage in conversation and know what the hell I'm talking about than to agree with the person on stage. Jesus took the Pharisees to school because he knew his shiz. MLK questioned the hell out of authority and it's because of that boldness that people can actually believe in optimistic phrases such as, "Yes We Can".

The last year of my life has had a "transitions" theme of sorts, at least that's what I called it when I first moved to P-town. It was a hell of a year of transitioning that helped to redefine me as a professional, as a Christian, as a human, as a man, as a sexual being, as a Portlander, etc. I have more passion. I am more driven. I am more faithful. I am more confident. I took these thoughts with me as I drove a five day drive back to California. It was this past Wednesday night in Auburn, CA when I stood beneath a gorgeous electrical storm that lit up the night sky for miles. I was reminded of the power. I was reminded of the beauty of silence. I stood there in a parking lot and watched this brilliant dance of electricity as rain poured down on me. It was the Image of God. Once again found in silence and loved ones. It's almost like we are in a constant uphill battle to experience God's image. Noise gets in the way. We Christians even God-block each other at times. We point to many fingers at sex, drugs and rock and roll when the real problem often starts from pride and penetrates all that it is good until out frustration gets the best of us and we become blinded to God's presence which in reality has never left. Life is just too damn complicated at times. But you gotta love it.

I sent a text to my good friend that we need to start a revolution, an underground Jesus movement with a mission of authentic love and community. He agreed. Yep, the transition process has been completed. I am definitely a SE Portlander. 

Still to come on Revolutions:

Thoughts on music, sexuality and higher education.

The Body: Truth, Honor, Love.

It was at some point at the beginning of the Renn Fayre fireworks show this past weekend when I realized the importance of the "body". Sigur Rós, "Gobbledigook" echoed throughout the Reed College campus, as fireworks were launched and lit up the Portland night sky. "We are Reed", I thought to myself. Surrounded by faculty, staff, students and neighbors, I realized that were are all invested in this moment and we are one body. There was no olde, middle or nü . There was just, "us", the one body. I was waiting for the voice of Meredith Grey to narrate this beautiful moment as if it was the closing of a very optimistic episode of Grey's Anatomy. 

We are all a part of this "body" or "community" called Reed. We need each other. We rely on each other. We can not function properly without all parts of the body doing their part. We are governed by honor. We are derailed by another's issues. 

The Reed community to me is authentic community. With Honor as our overarching principle we called to challenge, question, love, respect, communicate, support one another, and promote a healthy living learning community through our actions. The Honor Principle is not something that is visible or tangible, but it's just always been there and it takes a great deal of faith to trust in it. There are many interpretations of this Honor Principle, but the idea remains the same. People in this community don't always agree, but because of such debate, we become more grounded in our beliefs and are better people because of it.

When one or more members of our body or community are torn apart or disbanded we are not as strong. Recently, Imago Dei put all outside programs on hold (realistically I should used the word cancelled) which include home communities, 3 O'clock People (ministry that feeds the homeless), amongst other awesome programs that they have going. I have seen political moves by church elders give low blows before, but this really did piss me off. Many people rely on home community for prayer, accountability, fellowship, etc. To hear leaders of the home community say that we need to "submit to authority", meaning the church elders, frustrates me. If we don't challenge authority, we don't learn, we don't grow, we give into the machine. The Bible calls it the "world", Imago calls it the "empire". 

In my opinion the church is a blind spot in this "empire" that they are asking us to flee from. Imago calls us to "corporate prayer" on a designated day and time once a week so that we can show we love the church. It's almost like a ransom to pay for home community. I'm thankful I'm the only one that does not hold these opinions. 

Home communities have gone underground and others are still serving the city of Portland. People are frustrated with each other because of the corporate decisions made by elders. Blaahh! It's all a big mess. I'd rather keep myself respect and stand my ground and not submit to things that I disagree with. I answer to God and Him alone.

I used to attend a very conservative church, far more so than Imago. The pastor once said that if  we "took every word that came out of his mouth as Truth, then we are dumb". I stand by that statement wholeheartedly and rather than running from the empire, I choose to STRIKE THE EMPIRE BACK in order to preserve the body. 

I have a feeling that all this is just a prelude to something bigger that will be ongoing. Like Jesus Christ, Donald Miller, Harvey Milk and Donnie Darko sometimes we just need to push back for the sake of truth, honor and love.

"Breathe kids, the mold is getting old

It'll be gone any day

The hipster empire of tomorrow

Will fall to the common kids of today

With tied wrists we're under their control

With fists clenched, we're taking on the world

I write down words with cathartic intentions

But they spawn revolutions of minds"

-bayside

Authentic Community

I'm sitting in Anna Banana's on NW 21st right now and was joined at a table by a couple that don't seem to be very engaged in each other at the moment. They are not your typical customer at this quirky little hippie coffee shop, they are too put together and kinda cute. Should I feel flattered by their company? Flattery or not, I do enjoy how the three of us are comfortable with this situation and are completely engaged with our own individual projects. This is just one of the many reasons why I am glad Portland is my home. 

I just came here from Imago a short while ago and have been reflecting on todays service. I paid close attention to the message, which I challenged my authenticity. The pastor speaking today was, Kyle (your typical hip young pastor who connects more with the millennial crowd because of his frequent use of pop culture and witty humor). Kyle used references to Facebook and how we often try to make ourselves look "good" thought that social networking device by using it as a resume of sorts to say, "hey! look at me". He went on to say that we don't like to share our "junk" (I know, right?). It is true, we don't like to show our junk because it exhibits a sign of weakness, at least most of the time we interpret junk as a sign of weakness. So, basically humbling ourselves, being faithful and exposing our junk is in reality a sign of strength because we are acknowledging and wanting to actively work on this junk before it becomes an out of control wasteland. 

As I continued to look around the church I saw people raise their hands, heard children crying, the guy with the "host" name tag ran around with Bibles, saw people go up for communion when the timing was right, another couple in a intimate sensual embrace while taking communion (yikes!), people bowing their heads and then raising their heads to only find that the worship band magically appeared back on stage, the worship leaders asking people to stand, and while some stand in obedience, others mumble to themselves that their legs are tired, others whisper and share text conversations, the old couple in front of me looks disconnected as the are still trying to interpret the pastors reference to this mysterious "twitter", raised hands for a blessing. FIN. It's time to breath, then mingle with people and continue the mingling at a local SE PDX joint. The same thing will occur next week with a new topic. I learned a lot this week. Well, let's just say that I think I became more aware of the importance of community and authenticity within that community. By becoming more observant of my surrounding today I saw humanity and junk at Franklin High School and in myself. These observations had me leaving church with a smile.

We like to talk about how much we love* going to church to see our friends and brag about this raw* community that we have found. We go on to talk the talk and then gossip via text, twitter, blogspot, facebook etc. We often set up our own stumbling blocks toward our destination of authenticity.

We are fortunate to have a God (for those who believe in God, well, now that I think about it, I think God exist regardless whether one believe in him or not, how do i phrase this!?) For those who acknowledge the existence of God, we are fortunate to have a God who is both loving and raw, without the asterisk attached. I have such a long way to come. We humans with our 3lb finite minds have a long way to come, but will likely ultimately fall short of loving or being raw to our full capacity. The Evangelicals will interpret this as "our inherent sinful nature". 

With year number one almost under my belt, it seems that the characters have been cast and the stage has been set for something so beautiful. Life does not initially always make sense, but I don't think its supposed to. It will make sense in time or perhaps not at all. I think life really is like LOST sometimes. The current cast is somehow all connected and we interpret that to be, "oh! what a small world". It's not a small world really, if you think about it. I just think that everything is intentional because conversations that I had back in 2006 are just now starting to make sense. Call me faithful, superstitious, or just plain foolish. Whatev.

I just can't wait to see what the next episode has in store for me and my surrounding community. So basically, this is my introspective way of saying that I feel that God is intentional and often times the things we are quick to deem as insignificant can play a larger role further in the script. 

A mix that can burn a hole in anyone...

I recently saw the film, Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist, and was blown away by the magic of an epic night and how the crafting of a soundtrack was tied to that epic night. I started this blog, Life is a Mixed Tape, because I want to tell stories through existing music. It's such a beautiful art form that comes alive in our daily lives. We may not always realize what significance certain songs play in both these this epic and passive moments of our lives. In this film, Nick had the art of the mixed tape down right. 

I don't think I have ever been able to relate to a character as much as I have Nick (perhaps Lloyd Dobler from Say Anything would be a close second). It's all about the antihero in these films who is always asking himself, "will I ever get the girl" (please listen to Dashboard Confessional's, This Ruined Puzzle). Nick like many of these antiheroes is a little emotional, wears his heart of his sleeve, is not always comfortable or confident in his decisions, and often finds himself in the "boy who blocked his own shot" mindset (I'm referring to the Brand New song from their album Deja Entendu). 

I almost always, wear my heart on my sleeve, and I think that more so than most people, I dive into a deep introspective state. That being said, I have a soundtrack for almost everything. Call it emo but I think it's kinda freakin' adorable. Yeah, I said it, ADORABLE. I think I'm going to write a book on this topic at some point in the near future so I will end the entry here and leave you with a few songs to start crafting your infinite playlist for life.

For the introspective and almost-hopeful romantic:

"Soundtrack for Our Movie" by Mae

"The Mixed Tape" by Jack's Mannequin 

"Mixtapes and Memories" by The Lyndsay Diaries

"Movie Script Ending" by Death Cab for Cutie

"You and Me" by Her Space Holiday

"Ships" by Umbrellas

"You Have My Attention" by Copeland

"Konstantine" by Something Corporate

"Boys and Girls" by Ingrid Michaelson

"Trollywood" by Eisley

"Your Hand in Mine" by Explosions in the Sky

For the Portlander:

"Everyone Knows Everyone" by The Helio Sequence

"Sing Again" by Chris Walla

"Angeles" by Elliott Smith

"Portland is Leaving" by Rocky Votolato

"Oregon Girl" by Someone Still Loves You Boris Yeltsin 

For the Emo:

Available upon request.

FIN

The Doctorate Program

Hey everyone! I am now strongly considering applying for a Ph.D or Ed.D in Higher Ed/Student Affairs. It's been on my mind for sometime and I thought that by writing it down for you all to see that I would scare myself out of it or use this as an excuse to keep me accountable. I've just been wondering if I have put enough experience under my belt so that I would be well qualified and would be able to contribute and bring my A game to a cohort. Just so you and I know, this is at least two to three years out. I just need to think about it as it is something that it could advance my career in the direction that I want to head. I've put in my time at Pepperdine, California Lutheran, and there is so much I have yet to accomplish at Reed. 

Is a one year assistantship at Pepperdine, along with three years of academic advising/assistant directorship, lumped in with what I will do here in Residence Life enough? Can I survive the politics, while remaining ethical and honorable? Can I combine the olde theories, with my own research to hold up the institution of higher education and at the same time student autonomy?

I am going to attend a session at ACPA which I hope answers the many questions that I have.

There is much to come. I have that gut feeling that all of this is the beginning of something remarkable. I will have tons to blog about when I get back from ACPA!

Cheer up, Emo Kid!: Or how I learned to despise these workshop titles.

There are many things that higher education professionals do that piss me off. The first thing that comes to mind is that many professionals often try too hard to connect with students by using references to pop culture. These higher education professionals, are my people, BUT they need to know when the line has been crossed. I am looking forward to visiting the District at the end of this month when I attend the national ACPA conference. I love to plan ahead when it comes to scheduling the workshops that I will attend. This is what irked me yesterday as I was planning my workshop schedule for ACPA:

Cheer-Up, Emo Kid! Working with the New, Emotional Student

Monday, March 30, 2009 
5:45 PM - 6:45 PM
Gaylord National, National Harbor 14

What’s up with the tight black jeans, dyed black hair, and black eyeliner? What’s with these bands with names like My Chemical Romance and Fall Out Boy being so popular? Have you noticed a growing population of emotional or “emo” students on your campus? Join our roundtable discussion where we will explore the historical significance of this pop-culture phenomenon and discuss best practices available for understanding our students and how we can positively impact their college experience.

I know what you must be thinking, "Oh know they didn't!". Those were my thoughts exactly! How dare they refer to the bands My Chemical Romance and FALL OUT BOY as emo!!! The coordinating presenter is a Res Life person from Coker College in South Carolina and his co-presenter is a person from Arkansas. There presenters have shamed the genre of emo by associating it with a faux-goth-rock band and the biggest tool-bags that ever picked up a musical instrument. Bands like Sunny Day Real Estate, Mineral, Texas is the Reason, The Promise Ring and even the brotastic, Dashboard Confessional must be like, wtf?

Another thing that I am quite bothered by is the reference to tight jeans and this new trend in "emotional" students. Through my ethnographic research from my freshmen year in collge until now, I have always noticed emotional students. I have had emotional roommates. I was even referred to as "emo" by my peers when I was the first in my undergraduate experience to wear a wrist band for non-recreational purposes. Why is this a roundtable discussion at a national conference?

I am quite bothered when professionals in my field try too hard to relate to students. Granted, these presenters are from the South and are probably frightened of these little scene kids that are appearing on their college campuses. Their hearts would stop if they ever decided to visit my campus, as they would be overwhelmed with tight jeans, the color black, and a very unconventional student body who opposes the "mainstream". Hell, these presenters may see Portland as a utopia for all things they consider "emo".

I will take this fight to DC where "emo" was born out of the hardcore scene in the mid-1980s. I will be at this roundtable discussion to defend these "emo" students, my music, my profession and to provide a little Left Coast insight to this discussion.

To be continued...

TOOL

From Urbandictionary.com

4. Tool

A person, typically male, who says or does things that cause you to give them a 'what-are-you-even-doing-here' look. The 'what-are-you-even-doing-here' look is classified by a glare in the tool's direction and is usually accompanied by muttering of how big of a tool they are. The tool is usually someone who is unwelcome but no one has the balls to tell them to get lost. The tool is alwasys making comments that are out-of-place, out-of-line or just plain stupid. The tool is always trying too hard to fit in, and because of this, never will. However, the tool is useful because you can use them for things; money, rides, ect.

"Let's drive to Chicago from Iowa. Oh man, we need money. Hey, let's ask tool to come, he'll spot us the cash!"

"Tool is our friend. We call him that because he is one."

Embrace Change

"Change" was a primary theme of 2008 and it looks like it will continue to be a theme in 2009 in all areas of my life. Personally, professionally, spiritually, physically and emotionally. In two days America will inaugurate Barack Obama as the 44th President, "The People's President." It's got a nice ring to it, don't you think? Today I watched as the Arizona Cardinals defeated the Philadelphia Eagles to make it to the Super Bowl. The Cardinals? Seriously? What the hell is going on America? Whatever it is, I kinda like it. Whether or not we agree with all of this change, we just need to suck it up and embrace it. 

I was thinking today about how easy it is to vote for change. By that I mean, it's rather simple to pick up a blue or black pen and scribble on a ballot. What is not as easy is actually making change happen by stepping out of our comfort zone and doing something radical. Gandhi said it best, "be the change you want to see in the world". We must act now. This week like most Americans I will be celebrating MLK and Obama, but I will be also thinking or how I can be an agent of change in Portland, at Reed, for Gay Rights, etc. I want to do something radical. I have been thinking about people in history that I would call a heroes of mine. Some of them are: Jesus, Martin Luther King Jr., Barack Obama, Harvey Milk, Martin Luther and I'm sure there are others that are escaping my mind at the moment. What they all have in common is that they were/are radical and left a lasting impression on the world. 

I just needed to put my thoughts in writing because I was on introspection overload. A couple months ago I was having lunch with my friend/old college pastor who both moved from Southern California around the same time. He was moving his family up here and starting a church and I was taking the next step in my career and relocated to a quirky little college that I read about in  a nonreligious theological novel a few years ago. He said something interesting to me and that was, "I think God brought us both here for a reason". Something radical is going on in this funky little town know as The People's Republic of Portland. I've transitioned, embraced change and now I ready for something more...I just don't know what that is just yet.